It wasn't me!

Reading Annie Slaminsky’s latest post reminded me of something…

A few years back I was working at a large hospital somewhere in the east of england. It was a shit job, but the team I worked with were generally up for a laugh which helped make the days more bearable. Up until then I’d always done outdoors type manly jobs and the tradition at Christmas was to go out have a meal, and then drink as much alcohol as is humanly possible. It was fun.

So due to being a bit manly I’d never been involved in the bran tub/Secret santa thing before, and was a bit bemused by the whole thing. I ended up having to buy something for the woman who organised it all. She was a fat bird so I bought her some chocolate! No rubbish mind, they were belgian via a factory somewhere in Norfolk.

Come the day of the opening, everyone assembled in the office (including big big boss; A woman detested by all) The tub is delved into and pressies distributed. I got a very nice pen. No really it was quite smart. Fat bird was pleased with her chocolates too. It got to our not so big boss. (not the big big boss) Now our not so big boss was quite a nice lady. A few years older than me, but from fairly close to where I grew up so we kind of got on because we were both outsiders. It also helped that her Dad was like meself a fan of the Irons. not so big Boss lady opens her present, I can’t see what she’s got cos I’m right over the other side of the office but she looks quite shocked. Big Big Boss has a face like thunder. You could see the veins in the side of her head start to pulse as she demanded to know who’d sent it. Sly grins started to appear on the faces of the people closest to the boss. Not so big Boss stammers that she’s sure it was meant to be funny but she doesn’t really find it so. Then I realise everyone’s looking at me. I don’t even know what it is. So I ask. Big Big Boss’s mouth goes all pursed resembling nothing more than a cats arse.

I suppose really, that if my mate from the stores had given it some serious consideration he wouldn’t have bought our boss a stress reliever for her Bran tub pressie. Or at least if he’d really thought about it he wouldn’t have bought her one that looked like an anatomically correct 9” cock!

I was really fucked off that they all thought it was me. I bought a fat bird some choc!