Wednesday, October 22, 2008

No god, only religion

I'm loving this :D No doubt it'll end up getting its windows bricked by fundamentalists.

Just a quick edit to point out this article at my new favouritest website in the whole world ever. The Daily Mash

While you're there have a look for the story about Billy Bragg.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


Thinking of adding fuel to your car?
Please, wait until at least 5 o clock this afternoon.
I've got to fill up on my way home from work so the price of a litre is bound to drop by at least a penny about a nanosecond after I put the hose back in its holder.

Every. Fucking. Time!

Sunday, October 05, 2008

I'm going electric

I'm buying an electric bike. Yes yes, apparently they're for old ladies who smell of wee to do the shopping on, but no, they aren't. They were, some still are. But the manufacturers have realised there's a market out there full of people who are pissed off with paying a fortune for fuel and the other costs associated with cars, and they've started to aim product at them. I had a go on a couple of e-bikes yesterday and they are just unbelievable amounts of fun. On my hybrid I was lucky to get 18-20 mph going downhill and pedalling like fuck. Yesterday I cycled at 18mph uphill and into a headwind. You still have to pedal, you just don't have to end up with your heart hammering ten to the dozen and your lungs straining to inflate. As the guy whose bikes I was using put it 'It's like having an invisible hand pushing you along'.

The way I see it I'll benefit from... Less fuel to pay for. Possibly getting rid of one car completely. Getting fit (again) after all, I still have to pedal, I just don't have to pedal as hard. Which means I can cycle further, especially hand seeing as my round journey commute has gone from 9-10 miles to around 15-16 miles. Doesn't sound a lot, but you try and cycle the extra, especially in the winter, into headwinds, going uphill and all the other bollocks you have to put up with on a pushy.

You may level accusations at me

Cheat being one, Hippy being another. I will merely invite you to kiss my cheating hairy hippy arse whilst cycling off into the sunset. :)

Seriously, I mentioned this to a friend of mine whose only form of transport is a pushbike and his immediate reply was 'That's cheating!' Is it fuck cheating. It's just another form of transport, and one that's certainly cleaner and greener than a car or a motorbike.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

A funny thing happened on the train.

So, been a while again innit? I just never seem to find the time to blog and no fucker's reading it anyway. But I must share this little nugget cos It made me larf and larf. My missus took me to the Dr Who exhibition at Earls Court as an early birthday present. We had a great day in that London, the Who exhibition is well worth a look if you're so inclined, lots of interactive bits including being able to stand insided a mock up of a Dalek and talk into a microphone that distorts your voice. I have video footage of a Dalek squawking 'Wash my pants woman'. Well I found it funny anyway. Lunch in Convent Garden followed by a bit of shopping and then home, in first class no less. So, there we are on the train, in first class being all sumptuous and nice, when I decide to use the loo. A nice looking pod affair with automatic doors. Except dumbass that I am I can't find the button to open the effing door. That's ok, I'll use prole class. So I go down to the next carriage and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Seriously I waited a long time. Then, a woman comes out of the carriage and waits in the exit area as we're coming up to a stop. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Eventually the door opens, then immediately slams shut. I look a the woman, she looks at me. We're both a tad perplexed. The door opens and slams shut again. This happens five or six times. Then, the door opens and a lad of about 18 comes out. Staring at the floor he avoids eye contact and scurries around the corner into the carriage. I go to step into the bog and the door slams into my face. KER-CHING! The woman waiting to get off at the next station has eyes like saucers. I'm killing myself laughing. 'Must be the Mile-Long club' I comment. This then has her cracking up laughing. Tears are streaming down my face, the door to the bog opens and slams shut a few more times and then a very very embarrassed young lady exits the cubicle, in much the same manner as her recent companion. I being a gentleman discretely looked straight at her with a fucking great grin on me face. She was rather red. :D