E-biking

I have to tell you kids, it is sooooooo much fun. On the days I commute on the x6 I end up at my destination with a fucking great smile on me face. It's all about the fresh air I guess. And possibly the excercise too. The way I have the bike set up means I still have to pedal, and sometimes I'm pedalling hard but the bike takes the edge off, so I can do twice the distance I used to do on my old bike, but arrive feeling like I've excercised but not like I'm at death's door. It's also an amazing feeling cycling up a hill at the same speed you were managing on the flat, and cycling into a headwind (you try it!) is a piece of piss now. Seems like a win/win situation at the moment. The only downside is that the throttle is a quarter sized jobby that's operated with the thumb and forefinger. Fuck but it makes my hand ache after a while. Not nice.

Nuts on the radio

I can't believe I just read this

Torchwood star John Barrowman has apologised for exposing his genitals during a live BBC Radio 1 broadcast.

He got his dick out in a radio studio. The presenters didn't object. Indeed, it was due to the presenters raising the subject that he did it. One listener complained.

One!

Obviously in the wake of that Brand/Ross/Sachs/Baillie over reaction the beeb has chosen to completely over react again.

One complaint!

Anyone who buys the Daily mail is a cunt.

The Byke!

It's here, I am now the owner of an electric bike, and let me tell you, it's fabby!
It's also very whizzy! I kept thinking something was wrong with it cos the motor was cutting out. Then I realised it cuts out at 15mph and the power comes back in if your speed drops below that. It really is very cool indeed. Hills, no problem. Headwinds, no problem. I've still got to pedal otherwise the motor doesn't come on at all. I've got it set like that so I don't become a lazy cunt. I've only done a couple of miles on it so far due to not having the time to really let rip, but it's looking promising. Here it be, nowt special to look at, but that's the point :)



And here it is next to my old workhorse. Not a lot in it really is there?

A week ago

I had to have a tooth extracted. Upper rear molar. It was surprisingly painful. The tooth had been fucked for years. I'd had a root extraction and filling on it about 7 years ago, and it was never right after that. The filling would work loose, the tooth would get cracked. I was sick of having it repaired long before the dentist was. Three months ago I had to have it filled, again, a month after that the back fell away. I struggled with it, because I really didn't want to go back to the Dentist. Then, a week ago I discovered that the bit of food I had trapped behind it wasn't a bit of food. It was an abscess. It went pop! So, I called the dentists, they got me in on an emergency appointment and I went through an experience I would rather forget. The Dentist decided 'we' had been trying to save it long enough. I'd have been happy to have seen it gone long ago. So, having decided to have the bastard out he promptly set about drilling away the root filling, and then cutting the tooth out at the base. Then came the industrial strength pliers, as he set to on each root individually. It was at this point that I started making 'argh' type noises. I could feel the bastard root wriggling about in my face, and it fucking hurt. Not a twinge, not an ache. IT. FUCKING. WELL. HURT. Eventually, after I'd been reduced to a mewling kitten (about three or four 'arghs') the Dentist stopped and asked if it was hurting!!!

Another jab later and we were well away. At the end of it all he asked if I could bear to look at the extracted roots because they were very impressive. He implied they could be worn on a necklace. The irony, shit teeth, great roots! For fucks sake!

So here I am, a week later, a very tender gaping hole in the back of me gob, and trying desperately to keep food away from it. It aches like a bastard on fathers day at times, though I'm told that's normal.

Look after your teeth kids. Cos extractions are cunts.

On the bright side I'm finally getting my electric bike tomorrow. :)

Agh!

It's been bloody ages innit? Loads going on. Loads of poxy plastic kiddy crap. Bugger all time to write about it. I promise you (all one of you, and that's probably me!) I'll blog properly soon.

No god, only religion

I'm loving this :D No doubt it'll end up getting its windows bricked by fundamentalists.

Just a quick edit to point out this article at my new favouritest website in the whole world ever. The Daily Mash

While you're there have a look for the story about Billy Bragg.

STOP!

Thinking of adding fuel to your car?
Please, wait until at least 5 o clock this afternoon.
I've got to fill up on my way home from work so the price of a litre is bound to drop by at least a penny about a nanosecond after I put the hose back in its holder.

Every. Fucking. Time!

I'm going electric

I'm buying an electric bike. Yes yes, apparently they're for old ladies who smell of wee to do the shopping on, but no, they aren't. They were, some still are. But the manufacturers have realised there's a market out there full of people who are pissed off with paying a fortune for fuel and the other costs associated with cars, and they've started to aim product at them. I had a go on a couple of e-bikes yesterday and they are just unbelievable amounts of fun. On my hybrid I was lucky to get 18-20 mph going downhill and pedalling like fuck. Yesterday I cycled at 18mph uphill and into a headwind. You still have to pedal, you just don't have to end up with your heart hammering ten to the dozen and your lungs straining to inflate. As the guy whose bikes I was using put it 'It's like having an invisible hand pushing you along'.

The way I see it I'll benefit from... Less fuel to pay for. Possibly getting rid of one car completely. Getting fit (again) after all, I still have to pedal, I just don't have to pedal as hard. Which means I can cycle further, especially hand seeing as my round journey commute has gone from 9-10 miles to around 15-16 miles. Doesn't sound a lot, but you try and cycle the extra, especially in the winter, into headwinds, going uphill and all the other bollocks you have to put up with on a pushy.

You may level accusations at me

Cheat being one, Hippy being another. I will merely invite you to kiss my cheating hairy hippy arse whilst cycling off into the sunset. :)

Seriously, I mentioned this to a friend of mine whose only form of transport is a pushbike and his immediate reply was 'That's cheating!' Is it fuck cheating. It's just another form of transport, and one that's certainly cleaner and greener than a car or a motorbike.

A funny thing happened on the train.

So, been a while again innit? I just never seem to find the time to blog and no fucker's reading it anyway. But I must share this little nugget cos It made me larf and larf. My missus took me to the Dr Who exhibition at Earls Court as an early birthday present. We had a great day in that London, the Who exhibition is well worth a look if you're so inclined, lots of interactive bits including being able to stand insided a mock up of a Dalek and talk into a microphone that distorts your voice. I have video footage of a Dalek squawking 'Wash my pants woman'. Well I found it funny anyway. Lunch in Convent Garden followed by a bit of shopping and then home, in first class no less. So, there we are on the train, in first class being all sumptuous and nice, when I decide to use the loo. A nice looking pod affair with automatic doors. Except dumbass that I am I can't find the button to open the effing door. That's ok, I'll use prole class. So I go down to the next carriage and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Seriously I waited a long time. Then, a woman comes out of the carriage and waits in the exit area as we're coming up to a stop. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Eventually the door opens, then immediately slams shut. I look a the woman, she looks at me. We're both a tad perplexed. The door opens and slams shut again. This happens five or six times. Then, the door opens and a lad of about 18 comes out. Staring at the floor he avoids eye contact and scurries around the corner into the carriage. I go to step into the bog and the door slams into my face. KER-CHING! The woman waiting to get off at the next station has eyes like saucers. I'm killing myself laughing. 'Must be the Mile-Long club' I comment. This then has her cracking up laughing. Tears are streaming down my face, the door to the bog opens and slams shut a few more times and then a very very embarrassed young lady exits the cubicle, in much the same manner as her recent companion. I being a gentleman discretely looked straight at her with a fucking great grin on me face. She was rather red. :D

A very silly thing indeed

This is not in my opinion. A very good idea. The original novels had a definite finish. I wasn't a big fan of the finish but it was up to Douglas Adams and not me. I just bought the books. This smacks to me of a cash-in and I won't be buying it.

Congratulations

To the Millers over at yurt16 on the arrival of a very bonny bouncing boy who was born on Saturday the 13th. You've no idea what you've let yourselves in for. :D

I could see it's hairy legs!!!

The glass is about 3 inches across. I, being a manly sort of man disposed of the beastie at my leisure. The Breadknife was not impressed. : )

More Nellies

As I'm bereft of inspiration here are some more heffalumps.

On a happier note (Big Game hunting in Norwich)

Last Sunday we took the little fella into Town (Norwichites hate that, 'It's a City!' they cry) for lunch. On the way we stopped and admired the herd of elephants that have trampled into town. These are just a few that we saw. At some point I'm going to make a point of visiting the Bus station so that I can get a picture of the heffalump with a Tardis on its' back. :)

You can see all the heffalumps here











More about 'Go Elephants' here

It's happened again!

Another one of my cats has been killed!
We'd had Gus four months and some bastard just ploughed through him right outside my house.
In a 30 mile an hour zone. Kids play in my street. What sort of a cunt drives so fast they can kill a cat instantly and not even bother to stop. There weren't even skid marks. I live in the middle of nowhere, my road goes nowhere, there's a school on the corner. Cuntcuntcuntcuntcunt!

Floored!

I wrote this back in 2006 about a weird dream I'd had.
Out of the blue I get a message on Facebook today from my old best mate. We've not seen each other for 19 years now, but it turns out both of us have been wondering how the other is getting on. More to the point, he's been trying to contact me but has been searching using my real first name, and I've been trying to find him using his old name, but he's adopted his stepfather's surname. It's all very odd but I'm relieved that a) We've finally made contact, and b) We're getting on well.

Lost in Translation

Scanning the news as you do, and I came across this snippet. Now I don't know all the facts regarding the conflict between the Phillipino government, and what appears to be an armed opposition. But my initial surprise at seeing that government appease a proto military organisation and giving them more land to self-govern, turned to laughter when I saw the acronym of said group.

New Adventures in Plastic Kiddy Crap pt2

Photo0115.jpg
Originally uploaded by Section 9ine

Now for a toy geek this is sweet as a nut. This figure is from the now defunct Marvel Legends Showdown line. It's very rare indeed, being a chase figure in a series that just wasn't produced in huge quantities. In the States it goes upwards of thirty dollars. I paid a fiver plus a couple of quid postage. For once e-bay came up trumps.

New Adventures in plastic kiddy crap

dc8.jpg
Originally uploaded by Section 9ine

Yaaayyy! DC wave 8 arrived.
Boooooo! DC Wave 8 is the final wave.
It's a shame the series is ending so soon. There was some amazing design going on in some of the characters, but it appears that the company who produced them just didn't understand what they had.

Fuckwits!

Gaggle

Anyone else get goosed on the way to work this morning?