Muriel Kwality!

Saw this a couple of weeks ago and have been dying for a chance to snap it.
At first I was disappointed to see it was printed out on sheets of A4, but then realised just how much work would have gone into pasting the thing up. It really does look ace. Shame the weather's getting to it though.

I dunno...

You wait a year for some DC minimates to come along and then two waves turn up at once.
These arrived today. They is ace. I love minimates. :)

It wasn't me!

Reading Annie Slaminsky’s latest post reminded me of something…

A few years back I was working at a large hospital somewhere in the east of england. It was a shit job, but the team I worked with were generally up for a laugh which helped make the days more bearable. Up until then I’d always done outdoors type manly jobs and the tradition at Christmas was to go out have a meal, and then drink as much alcohol as is humanly possible. It was fun.

So due to being a bit manly I’d never been involved in the bran tub/Secret santa thing before, and was a bit bemused by the whole thing. I ended up having to buy something for the woman who organised it all. She was a fat bird so I bought her some chocolate! No rubbish mind, they were belgian via a factory somewhere in Norfolk.

Come the day of the opening, everyone assembled in the office (including big big boss; A woman detested by all) The tub is delved into and pressies distributed. I got a very nice pen. No really it was quite smart. Fat bird was pleased with her chocolates too. It got to our not so big boss. (not the big big boss) Now our not so big boss was quite a nice lady. A few years older than me, but from fairly close to where I grew up so we kind of got on because we were both outsiders. It also helped that her Dad was like meself a fan of the Irons. not so big Boss lady opens her present, I can’t see what she’s got cos I’m right over the other side of the office but she looks quite shocked. Big Big Boss has a face like thunder. You could see the veins in the side of her head start to pulse as she demanded to know who’d sent it. Sly grins started to appear on the faces of the people closest to the boss. Not so big Boss stammers that she’s sure it was meant to be funny but she doesn’t really find it so. Then I realise everyone’s looking at me. I don’t even know what it is. So I ask. Big Big Boss’s mouth goes all pursed resembling nothing more than a cats arse.

I suppose really, that if my mate from the stores had given it some serious consideration he wouldn’t have bought our boss a stress reliever for her Bran tub pressie. Or at least if he’d really thought about it he wouldn’t have bought her one that looked like an anatomically correct 9” cock!

I was really fucked off that they all thought it was me. I bought a fat bird some choc!

Enough of the whingey bollocks then!

Thanks for that Furtive! :p
I have reasons to be cheerful

I have Battlestar Galactica Minimates.
FABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

frenetic

It's not that my life is dull really. I just seem to struggle with finding the time to post. Little fella has been a bit up and down too, which does tend to take up most of your time and energy. Poor little sod had his MMR last week and then had some kind of reaction (I think) a couple of days later. That culminated in me having to take Friday off with zero notice to look after him. I might work for a cunty organisation but thank fuck I have an understanding manager. On top of all that over the weekend we had the joys of not one, not two, not even three, but six! Yes, count em. Six new teeth trying to make an appearance in the little fella's gob'ole. This was not fun. In fact this lead to one of the worst weekends either of us has ever had. Screaming, tantrums, painkillers doing fuck all. This started in the early hours of Sunday morning and didn't let up until Tuesday.It was sheer undiluted mental torture, can't describe the relief I felt on Tuesday when we realised we were over the worst of it. I tell you what, if you're thinking of having a little bundle of joy of your own you better make sure you've got a damn fine support network around you. Unlike me!

I haven't posted for a week

God my life is dull!

DC Minimates

Faboo!

Please arrest me, please arrest me, please arrest me!

That must be what the old bill hear in their head when they see a car like this

on the public highway. I on the other hand just hear 'would you look at that stupid cunt coming the other way, let's try and make eye contact with them so I can laugh in their stupid faces'.
I like customised cars, I loved custom scooters when I was part of that scene and even now whenever I see a smartly turned out bike I'll admire it. This sort of thing though, the graphics and logo thing, it has no creativity at all. No flair. It's just putting stickers on the body work. Oh the engine's probably tuned to perfection and it can do 0-stupid in point 5 of a nanosecond but where's the love? The creativity? It's just shit! There are people who live near me that have a car covered in Harley Davidson graphics. That's right A. Car. Covered. In. Harley Davidson. Graphics! I don't doubt that they own and ride Harleys, but to have it plastered all over your car? It's just shit and should be stopped. I always laugh at them too! Half the population of narj must think I'm a complete cunt. The other half know I am.

Head's stuck on loop. Where's the option for shuffle?

I really like Unstoppable by Bloc Party (think that's what it's called Edit: It's called The Prayer and it really is fucking ace!).
I also really like Giddy Stratospheres by The Long Blondes.
Both are excellent tunes.
I just can't get them out of my head.

Oh fuck...

La la la
La la la la la!

Normal Disservice will be resumed as soon as possible

We apologise for the recent lack of bloggage
Seeing as I'm unable to post a Tom & Jerry cartoon, here's a picture of some toys.

Told you I was Ill

This has been the heaviest cold I've ever had. I'm not kidding. I think I'm over the worst of it now, I'd say it was almost Flu it was that strong. For the last few days I've been barely able to drag myself out of bed. The Breadknife's been the same. We'd have been fucked if it wasn't for the little Fella going to nursery cos we have no one to help out. No one! That's when you realise how isolated you really are. There's just the three of us. No family within a hundred miles, no friends that'd be ready to drop everything to help out (funny how we always were though) Last night I collapsed in the bathroom. One second taking a piss, the next taking a dive. Smacked me head against the door as I went down too. The Bread was beside herself with worry especially as she couldn't get into the bathroom to see how I was until I'd come round. God I felt like absolute shite. Sweat was pouring off of me, my arms had gone numb, my perception was all over the place. To think I used to pay good money to feel like that. I'm relieved to say I feel much better now, but it still concerns me how alone we are.

I take it back

I slagged off Preston the other week after reading how he'd stormed off the set of Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Have to say though, that watching the episode in question left me feeling quite uncomfortable. Preston didn't walk because he was being precious. He walked because someone was taking the piss out of his wife. Under the circumstances (ie: being on telly and in front of an audience) he couldn't chin Amstell for being a cunt, so he took the only other option and left. Bill Bailey was a bit of a cunt too. I'm probably in the minority on this aren't I? :D

In other news... Is Joss Stone made of plastic?

Lurgee

I feel officially shit. I ache, have no energy at all. Have a headache the size of a planet and keep breaking out into really minging sweats. It's not fucking nice and needs to stop now! The Breadknife has is too. Our house is a barrel of fun right now. :(

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side of the Avian Flu Restricted Zone.

Where I live and work borders on the A47. My side of the road is safe. The other side has BIRD FLU!!!!!

Not that I'm particularly worried about bird flu, I am, after all, a bloke! :D

Further adventures in Stereo

I bought a new amp.
It made sense. It was only fifty quid, even with having to pay £25 to the firm that looked at the other one it still worked out cheaper than having the repair done and I get a years guarantee as well.

I've never heard of Eltax, but 50 watts a channel for £49.95 will do me very nicely while I try to scrape funds together for something a bit meatier.
Bloke in Richer Sounds asked me why I was buying the Eltax? It's all I can afford mate, is my reply. "But it's only 30 watts per channel" he said. "That's a big drop off from your cambridge."

I point out that it's actually 50 watts per channel. Bloke then says "You know, I can sell you a much better amp than that?" I said 'I know, and if you want to sell me it for fifty quid I'll have it!'

"Oooh no, can't do that"

So I smiled and asked if I could have the Eltax then.

I watched

X-Men III at the weekend. Didn't get a chance to see it at the cinema, and the DVD seemed to be kept at an artificially high price for quite a while. Once it was less than a tenner I though 'I'm avin some of that'. Fucking loved it. Why was everyone saying it was shit? I'm not happy that my favourite X-Person got killed about ten minutes into the film but there was a good dramatic reason for it to happen. I thought it was far superior to the rather lacklustre X-Men II but then I appear to have been in the minority over that one as well.

Them good ol' boys were drinking whiskey and rye

My amplifier is cooked. I'm not best pleased.
I've got to pay £25.00 just to have it looked at. Or £78.00 to have it repaired. Or, buy a new Amp. I'm skint.

January 31st 2007, the day the music died.

I'm sorry but

Gawd only knows what's going on in Brummagummagummingham at the moment!
I was watching the news this morning and had to shout back at the telly when some shouty bloke said the police shouldn't have mounted yesterdays anti-terrorist raid without first discussing it with the local muslim community.

Well yeah, that would have got results wouldn't it?

I can just imagine that's how the intelligence services should have done things back in the 70's and 80's too. Maybe inform a few of the lads in the pubs around Finsbury Park that 'no offence like, but we're going to lift Joseph, Paddy, and Micky tomorrow morning cos we think they're being a bit naughty.'
Ah roight y'are, don't you be worrying, we'll have a point and a little chat wid em and erryting'll be grand. Tanks!

There you go job done. Why didn't they think of it sooner eh?

Eh?

Wail, Gnash, Complain!

What's going on with my music media type stuff?
Huh? Huh? Go on, tell me. I bet it was you.

My itunes keeps crashing when I'm attempting to rip (ahem) backed up cd's.
My iPod won't mount, itunes says it's corrupted, then I have to do the ipod reset, then it won't mount, then I have to do the iPod reset, then it won't mount, then I have to do the iPod reset, then I switch firewire sockets but the ipod won't mount, so I have to do the ipod reset and then it mounts. Hurrah, but it's been doing all this for a while now and I'm scared to connect the fucking thing to the computer.

And then... Then... I switch on my stereo and I'm only getting the right hand speaker working.
The little fella's drawn to the speakers like flies are to poo, so I check the cables and yeah, one's a bit loose, so I tighten up the connection switch the amp back on and... Nada.

So I swap the speakers over to make sure it's not a fault with them. Nada. Still no left hand channel.

Fucking arsing cuntwankbollocks!

I took the amp round the corner to the local tv and hifi place. I'm paying £25 just to get it looked at. Plus parts, plus VAT.
A couple of teeny tiny resistors have burned out. The fella's never seen it happen before. It's going to be a couple of days. It's not like I get much of a chance to get the stereo playing these days but I'd still like the option thengyewverramuch!

I ain't happy!

Surely it's not just me?...

But whenever I hear that single by The View, you know, the one that goes "I've had the same jeans on for four days now". I hear 'Brimful of Asha' but sung by George Fucking Formby. Is it just me?