A funny thing happened on the train.

So, been a while again innit? I just never seem to find the time to blog and no fucker's reading it anyway. But I must share this little nugget cos It made me larf and larf. My missus took me to the Dr Who exhibition at Earls Court as an early birthday present. We had a great day in that London, the Who exhibition is well worth a look if you're so inclined, lots of interactive bits including being able to stand insided a mock up of a Dalek and talk into a microphone that distorts your voice. I have video footage of a Dalek squawking 'Wash my pants woman'. Well I found it funny anyway. Lunch in Convent Garden followed by a bit of shopping and then home, in first class no less. So, there we are on the train, in first class being all sumptuous and nice, when I decide to use the loo. A nice looking pod affair with automatic doors. Except dumbass that I am I can't find the button to open the effing door. That's ok, I'll use prole class. So I go down to the next carriage and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Seriously I waited a long time. Then, a woman comes out of the carriage and waits in the exit area as we're coming up to a stop. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. and wait for the engaged bog to become free. Eventually the door opens, then immediately slams shut. I look a the woman, she looks at me. We're both a tad perplexed. The door opens and slams shut again. This happens five or six times. Then, the door opens and a lad of about 18 comes out. Staring at the floor he avoids eye contact and scurries around the corner into the carriage. I go to step into the bog and the door slams into my face. KER-CHING! The woman waiting to get off at the next station has eyes like saucers. I'm killing myself laughing. 'Must be the Mile-Long club' I comment. This then has her cracking up laughing. Tears are streaming down my face, the door to the bog opens and slams shut a few more times and then a very very embarrassed young lady exits the cubicle, in much the same manner as her recent companion. I being a gentleman discretely looked straight at her with a fucking great grin on me face. She was rather red. :D

A very silly thing indeed

This is not in my opinion. A very good idea. The original novels had a definite finish. I wasn't a big fan of the finish but it was up to Douglas Adams and not me. I just bought the books. This smacks to me of a cash-in and I won't be buying it.

Congratulations

To the Millers over at yurt16 on the arrival of a very bonny bouncing boy who was born on Saturday the 13th. You've no idea what you've let yourselves in for. :D

I could see it's hairy legs!!!

The glass is about 3 inches across. I, being a manly sort of man disposed of the beastie at my leisure. The Breadknife was not impressed. : )

More Nellies

As I'm bereft of inspiration here are some more heffalumps.

On a happier note (Big Game hunting in Norwich)

Last Sunday we took the little fella into Town (Norwichites hate that, 'It's a City!' they cry) for lunch. On the way we stopped and admired the herd of elephants that have trampled into town. These are just a few that we saw. At some point I'm going to make a point of visiting the Bus station so that I can get a picture of the heffalump with a Tardis on its' back. :)

You can see all the heffalumps here











More about 'Go Elephants' here

It's happened again!

Another one of my cats has been killed!
We'd had Gus four months and some bastard just ploughed through him right outside my house.
In a 30 mile an hour zone. Kids play in my street. What sort of a cunt drives so fast they can kill a cat instantly and not even bother to stop. There weren't even skid marks. I live in the middle of nowhere, my road goes nowhere, there's a school on the corner. Cuntcuntcuntcuntcunt!

Floored!

I wrote this back in 2006 about a weird dream I'd had.
Out of the blue I get a message on Facebook today from my old best mate. We've not seen each other for 19 years now, but it turns out both of us have been wondering how the other is getting on. More to the point, he's been trying to contact me but has been searching using my real first name, and I've been trying to find him using his old name, but he's adopted his stepfather's surname. It's all very odd but I'm relieved that a) We've finally made contact, and b) We're getting on well.

Lost in Translation

Scanning the news as you do, and I came across this snippet. Now I don't know all the facts regarding the conflict between the Phillipino government, and what appears to be an armed opposition. But my initial surprise at seeing that government appease a proto military organisation and giving them more land to self-govern, turned to laughter when I saw the acronym of said group.

New Adventures in Plastic Kiddy Crap pt2

Photo0115.jpg
Originally uploaded by Section 9ine

Now for a toy geek this is sweet as a nut. This figure is from the now defunct Marvel Legends Showdown line. It's very rare indeed, being a chase figure in a series that just wasn't produced in huge quantities. In the States it goes upwards of thirty dollars. I paid a fiver plus a couple of quid postage. For once e-bay came up trumps.

New Adventures in plastic kiddy crap

dc8.jpg
Originally uploaded by Section 9ine

Yaaayyy! DC wave 8 arrived.
Boooooo! DC Wave 8 is the final wave.
It's a shame the series is ending so soon. There was some amazing design going on in some of the characters, but it appears that the company who produced them just didn't understand what they had.

Fuckwits!

Gaggle

Anyone else get goosed on the way to work this morning?

Ooops!

Blimey. A month. A lot of the reason for not posting is not having time. The other reason for not posting is not really having much to say. Things are hectic. The new cat seems to like pissing indoors which I'm not at all happy about. On the other hand the little fellas seems to like pissing in a potty and has taken to it like the proverbial duck. Only downside is that he's waking up at 6:30 am cos he wants a pee. Fine during the week, not so good at the weekends! :(

Dr Who's been a bit fucking good innit. I want a toy Dalek Caan! :D

crapness

Haven't posted for ages due to having no time. That's not because I have a rich and varied social life,
I just haven't had any time. Most of last week I was up to my eyeballs in moving office to a shithole on the other side of town. Where I once had a 20 minute bike ride I now delight in a 30 - 40 minute car journey along some of Narj's most delightful aspects of carriage way. My journey is 12 miles.

Another example of shitness is the way my work organised our move. To sum up they didn't.
We moved into a building site. We had no phones or computers for the best part of a week. To call it a shambles would give shambles a bad name. It was a monumental fuck up and I ain't at all happy. Even worse... I can't blog from work it seems. Every time I log in I get a curse of fatal death dialog box pop up and Internet Exploder implodes. It really is a bit rubbish. On a happier note I should be getting a very sexy phone tomorrow. Probably end up dropping it!

Gone fishing

Now I'm more than aware that the beeb have run this story to get the usual gang of idiots foaming at the mouth but honestly, what sort of moron trots this kind of crap out? The man's an elected councillor and he's got nothing better to do than bait the media/local right wing contingent with bollocks like this?

Nuffin's yer own is it?

Have a look at this.

Some cunt's lifting peoples gig photo's off of Flickr, printing them on photo stock paper and selling them on ebay as his own. And he's got the front to claim them as his own copyright. If you come across this willypenc anywhere make sure you tell him he's a thieving bastard.

Oh, and Flickr and ebay don't want to know. So if you've a Flickr account be aware.

Gus

There was a sense of inevitability when the Breadknife casually mentioned she'd seen on her work intranet that someone was trying to offload a couple of cats. One of them's a British Blue she said (knowing full well that I like that breed) He's four years old. Do you think it'd be nice to have another boycat around the place? Well yeah, actually it would. We've not had a boycat since Hobbes died and that was summer 2005. It was time we did something about that. So the Bread went to see him and came back full of how lovely he was.

So we adopted him. He's great, very affectionate, but by god he's fat. Blue's are a big breed anyway but this chap's arse is about a foot wide! He's also a bit of a puff. He's still not faced Isis down and she's barely half the size of him.

Here he be.

Remind me.

I need to blog about Gus.

Bizzy day

Very busy indeed.

Off to the village fete to do village fete type things, such as wait in line for an hour for a burger, and wrestle a very pissed off little fella out of a cop car. Then home to do some gardening. Mow the lawn. Bit of spot hoeing. Trim the borders. Bit of strimming. In all this time I was in and out of my shed swapping tools as you do. I'm not sure why I glanced up but when I did glance up I thought to myself 'Why is there half a birds egg hanging off of my shed ceiling?'. This thought was immediately followed by 'Fucking hell, that's a big wasp'.

2

+

2

Oh my fucking good gawd, there's a wasp building a nest six inches above my head.

It was a big wasp. I'm fucking terrified of wasps. I beat a hasty retreat and waited for the breadknife to offer to kill it for me. :D
I really am that scared of em. I do sometimes wonder how I stuck 12 years of working as a gardener.



This be it. My cameraphone doesn't really do it justice. It's so fragile, barely the thickness of a piece of A4 paper.

It never rains

but it pours. And no I'm not talking about jugs. And no, that wasn't a euphemism.

We had an absolute fucking deluge (including thunderstorm) yesterday. Obviously I was concerned that my broadband connection was going to get stuffed up again. When I got home the first thing I checked was t'internet and that was fine. Then I noticed the flashing clock on the microwave. Hurrah another powercut. A stray raindrop must have hit a powerline, or maybe a fag paper blew against a pylon? It didn't occur to me that the heating clock was up the swannee until much later in the evening when my bath runneth cold. So we sort the clock and wait for the boiler to fire but alack it merely makes an odd buzzing sound. Then we notice the water. It's pooling under the boiler. Not a huge amount of water but all the same it's not what you want to see.
Turns out the rain had come down so hard and the wind had been so fierce, that's it's sent water through the flue which has soaked the main printed circuit board. We had that PCB replaced 18 months ago at a cost of £170.00. Now we need a new one. It has to be ordered. It's Friday, Monday is a bank holiday. Thank fuck we have an emersion heater and a wood burning stove.

I hate my house. It's shit!