Well what a load of old shit then...

Happy Birthday/Christmas...

Certain members of my family are going to be sooo disappointed when their birthdays come around this year.

Cunts.

LOOK OUT!!!

Taken on my phone back in the summer! :)

New Acquisitions

Next month sees little fella's 2nd birthday. He's a big fan of fishies in fishie tanks so we've bought him his own. We've set it up now, well... Because we wanted to. He owns three fish right now. Two American Flag Fish (called George and Laura) and a loach named Ken. They're faboo!

Tomorrow isn't NME day

I'm not particularly a fan of Morrissey, I wasn't that big a fan of the Smiths either. I read last weeks interview with Morrissey and knew right away that the NME was trying to stir up some notoriety for themselves. Anyone who's read the article can see it was a stitch up. Morrissey pines for an England that never was and perhaps foolishly mentions immigration as one of the reasons that England will never exist again. This is what the NME pounced on to demonstrate that old Mozzer's just a big old fascist bastard after all. Cunt!

Excuse me... But BOLLOCKS!

This looks to me like a blatant attempt on the NME's part to boost circulation. Well they fucked up, they fucked up big time. Anyone with half a brain is going to have read that interview and the resulting hyperbole and realised what's going on.

I'm not buying tomorrows NME. I won't be buying it next week or the week after that either. I'm sure they're not at all bothered that a 38 year old man won't be buying what they themselves see as a 'yoof' publication anyway. But I wonder how many more people who've put up with the full page photos where there used to be news articles, with the editorial dumbing down, with the climbing into bed with companies that sponsor their tours. With the emphasis on shit fashion rather than youth culture, will also not be buying NME in future? I suspect it'll be more than just me.

Circulation may blip due to the current controversy, but I think a lot of people who are perhaps picking it up for the first time in a few years will find todays NME a bit of a joke.

Goodbye NME, it was fun for a while, but now you're just shit!
No really, fuck off!

I got a letter from the government the other day

opened and read it. It said they were suckers!

Well actually it was today I got it. A nice apology from Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs apologising for losing the personal details of myself, my Wife and my two year old child, as well as twenty five million other people across the country.

I feel so much better now that they've apologised. I'm not at all worried now.

Cunting fucking incompetent MUPPETS!

Tell me I'm wrong

See now, I'm not sure what protesters are hoping to achieve when they're protesting against someones right to free speech.

Griffin and Irving are foul contemptible people but in this country we do have a right to express ourselves regardless of political viewpoint. I'd have liked to have seen the ideologies and opinions of both of these men verbally slapped down and put in their place via debate.

Instead the protesters, no matter how well intentioned are actually veering dangerously close to fascism themselves by trying to deny these idiots their right to speak.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Is Fifteen Quid the new Tenner?

It might as well be.

£1.02 for a litre of petrol!
Fackin aaaaaahtraaaaaaaaaaaaageous!

I call him Tiny

...

No, not because he's my cock!

I've been meaning to post this for a couple of weeks now... Look, look what I found. A couple of weeks ago I was working on one of the borders in me garden. I'm ripping out the huge daisies I had growing and will be replacing them with a nice mix of perennial herbaceous and the odd shrub. So as I'm digging over the bed I spot this little fella (actually, I think it's a lady) who I appear to have disturbed. I was really impressed. I've not seen one of these since I was in me early teens. Being mindful of weather and predators I relocated it to the space under me shed. I hope it's okay.

British Government in Sensible Decision Shocker

NHS gives private sector the boot

Okay, millions upon millions of taxpayer pounds have been wasted. But millions upon millions more will be saved. Plus those millions should (I say should with emphasis) be ploughed back into the NHS. Only a complete fucking moron tries to farm out NHS operations to the private sector. It seems oddly coincidental that this decision has been taken only after Tony Blair and Patricia Hewitt have gone. Still, for once I'm happy, someone somewhere has realised enough is enough and rather than stick their head in the sand and use made up statistics to justify a poorly thought out scheme, they've had the intestinal fortitude to make a hard decision.

Miserable

*slump*

Oi, Final Prophet bloke

Enough.
Enough of your vile badly written faux-religious tracts you evil racist sack of shit.
You hold yourself above all others with your reactionary rants, you dare to tell us how to live. Go fuck yourself and your 5 mile long comments. Stop stinking up my comment box you cunt! Kill yourself and make the world a better place.

Really

FUCKED OFF!

My job's shit. My employer wastes public money, and people talk to me like I'm the cunt.

Fuck this!

Oh dear, I really am crap at this blogging fing.

Not posted for a week, again!
Shit, innit?
Then again the blog's a bit shit anyway. Most of the blogs I read are updated only sporadically now as well. Are we all getting bored with blogging?

What's going on with me then? Well... Yesterday I went to a big hospital for scans and x-rays. Hopefully I'll finally find out what's wrong with me. I've neglected to mention that I've been ill since January haven't I? Well, not exactly ill, more like in pain. First of all I thought there was something wrong with my bollocks but medical science says no. One good thing about this is that I've lost pretty much any inhibition at presenting my pocket theme park on demand and no longer worry about the ambient temperature either. It appears that it's more likely to be something up with my hip. I'm just waiting to see if the X-Rays find anything. If not then it could be nerve related. I'm more than a little fucked off with all this and sometimes wonder if I'm liable to be in pain for the rest of my life.

In other news the little fella is fab and I've posted some pictures to Flickr of him enjoying breakfast with a pal. That's about it.

Not again!

I'm fucking ill, and pissed off too. Bleagh!
Pictures of female readers in nurses outfits would go a long way toward a cure.
Your selfless act could save a life.

Ithengyew.

Plasticky Glee!

It's not every day you find 21 minimates posted through your door, well alright handed to you by the postie, all at once.

Lookit! Look look

Marvel wave 16 THE AVENGERS!!! How sweet are they?



Classic Spider-Man Boxset featuring Hydro-Man (he's the one with the clear plastic arms. I forgot to add his splashy watery extension thingys.


DC wave 5 SHAZAM!


It's very quiet around here these days. Have you all fucked off or what?

For anyone who's ever seen Real Football Factories

Found this over at http:www.kumb.com/forums Absolute class this is. Pwoppa Nawtee an no mistake.

Lego Genius!

Fat bloke pegs it.

September 5th Pavarotti.
September 6th Pavarottin'.

There's only one way of life...

And that's your own, that's your own, that's your own.

Remember that? That was The Levellers hit single back in the early 90's. A clarion call to middle class drop outs and trustafarians up and down the country to wear stinking clothes, not wash their hair, and try to ponce money off of us fucking idiots that go out to work every day. I used to work as a gardener and for 3 or 4 summers we used to end up with these cunts sleeping on the park bandstand so that no one else could use it. I'm not kidding they'd live on it from may through to september. Then they'd probably fuck off home and have a shower, while I, the cunt that went to work and contributed to their dole money cleaned up their discarded bedding and needles.

I fucking hated crusties. The breadknife and her mates were all into the Levellers, Back to the Planet, Radical Dance Faction and the like. Actually I quite liked Radical Dance Faction, they had a mad dub thing going on. But the trouble with all these band were their fans. Middle class crusty kids and scabby new age travellers. I once went to see The Levellers at Cambridge corn exchange with the Bread and one of her old schoolmates. While in the foyer they bumped into an old school friend of theirs, they're having a chat with this bloke and I'm standing on the periphery of there conversation when suddenly their mate says 'Excuse me a minute' to them, and then walks over to me and asks me if I've got any spare change. My missus is mortified, her mate looks ashamed. I tell this cunt to fuck off, and the next thing I've got some hatchet faced harpie in my face (schoolfriends' missus) telling me what a bastard I am for not giving them any money. I told her to fuck off too. The missus points out that I'm her husband but instead of apologies all I get is sulky looks. Cunts!

I ended up staying in the bar. I tried to watch the band for a while but first of all I had the usual twat with girlfriend on shoulders in front of me. Who, when I objected turned round and said 'We're only dancing man'. So I moved on and got stuck behind some daft tart who'd braided her hair with beads and was swinging said braids around like a cat 'o ' nine tails.

Fuck. That!

As you can guess I'm not a fan of Crusties. I'm an even bigger hater of Pikeys. I don't mean your common or garden Gypsy, though god knows they can be bad enough, I mean pikey's. Grungy, scrungey filthy dole scroungers who travel up and down the country in old vans and coaches. Taking over neighbourhoods, having the odd rave, generally leaving a cesspool of refuse that the local authority has to pay to clean up. We've got a bit of scrap land down the bottom of the road that's like a magnet to these fuckers. Normally they turn up every other january and stay until the eviction notice kicks in. This lot have been different. They've managed to stay for 8 months. Screaming up and down my road in their barely (if at all legal) cars. Having the occasional rave, really just putting everyones nerves on edge. They've managed this by moving to a different patch of land every couple of months. It turns out that the land is owned by four different interests. One of them gets an eviction notice, they move on to the patch next door. And so on.

Today they finally got fucked over. And you know what? I don't care that they did. Their shitty red peugot 205 got carted off on the back of a breakdown truck looking much the worse for wear. Looked to me like someone went around it with a very large piece of wood. The entrance to the land is gated, blocked by concrete posts, and then sandbags full of concrete.

There's only one way of life, and fuck everybody who it affects cos it's your own it's your own it's your own!

We come in peace

Star Trek Minimates series one. Well, one and a half really. Star Trek was one of the first minimate licenses way back when but they were 3 inches tall which isn't all that mini really. Only six figures were produced and only a handful of design pics remain of what was to follow. Hopefully these standard size 'mates will prove successful enough to warrant further waves. Early indications are they've sold out already so things are looking up for sad geeky toy collectors. And funky good looking ones like me too. Stand out in this series is pointy eared pedant Spock.

Look, they gave him an extra hand so he can do peaceful vulcan hand signs as well as holding a Phaser that's set to kill! Faboo!